Why, why, why? Kick me while I’m down, why don’t you? Why is the world doing this to me? Have you seen the commercials on TV for the “slim+tone legging?”
1. How are these any different than tights?
2. Why couldn’t you call them tights so that there was no risk of people like me having to see these substituted for pants?
3. If your ass is that freakin’ lumpy, you shouldn’t be wearing bottoms that tight. Go ahead. Call me an asshole. At least I practice what I preach – you won’t see ME walking around in public without pants on, no matter how many (and it's a lot!) squats and lunges I do at the gym. (Well, unless I’m at a swimming pool… but come on now).
4. JUST. STOP. STOP IT.
On that note, I’m going to go pretzel myself in a 95-degree room, and hopefully sweat out the memory of this whole nightmare.