Friday, November 1, 2013

It's Fashion Friday!: Wear Your Heels, Woman.

THIS guy is a ______ (fill in your favorite male expletive).
So, thanks to Facebook sharing, this tweet and responses about it popped up for my judgment. The CEO of a medical imaging company, Jorge Cortell Albert, decided to show off his winning personality with this tweet, implying that women who wear high heels are idiots. Not only that, he was implying that high heels are an inappropriate shoe choice for females in venture capital. My first raw thought was, “Wow, this guy finds this shoe choice inappropriate because he is regularly making asshat-tastic (YES I JUST DID THAT) remarks like this in the presence of women and has the fear of God in him that one of these shoes is going to puncture his manhood under a conference table or just end up lodged in his ass.” While that may be the crux of the matter, there are really some things I’d like to address, being an intelligent woman with a comprehensive shoe collection and a solid understanding of work appropriate dressing.

            First off, let’s address the social issues. Traditionally, jobs in the venture capital industry are held by men. They are “work until you drop dead” jobs that require someone to be completely dedicated to the job over anything else. It would be, and is, difficult for a woman to have a family and hold one of these positions. Whether or not you agree with the statements I just made, we can agree on the fact that the men in venture capital probably look at it that way. A woman who wants to be successful in an industry largely populated by men, has to act like a man, or she will not be respected. Again, even if you don’t agree with that statement, perhaps we can agree that a good old boys club doesn’t like to have to change their actions because there is a sensitive woman around.
            I find this to be analogous with the way a possum might look at a chipmunk. The chipmunk is cuter, can dig holes efficiently, plans for winter, and makes scary chirping sounds to ward off enemies. It is much smaller than the possum. A possum is a somewhat dirty, unintelligent, primitive animal. The possum will not feel threatened by the chipmunk because the possum is about six times as big as the chipmunk. Do you think a man like Jorge Cortell would take a short woman seriously? I don’t. He’s already proven that, like many others, he makes snap judgments based on appearance. This may be the reason why so many women wear heels to work in the first place (whether or not they realize it).  If you can look someone in the eye, you’re difficult to ignore. The woman in this tweet wore heels, and she wasn’t ignored, as proven by the asshat with the stiletto phobia. I can’t tell you how many times people (usually men) have assumed that I was of lesser intelligence based on their thought that I was pretty. That generally didn’t work out well for them.
            Addressing the idea that high heels are bad for your health, and thus anyone who puts herself in such danger must be a moron – working 60+ hours a week is ALSO bad for your health. What does he eat, do you think? Unless he’s on a raw food diet, he’s probably eating things that are bad for his health. Shaving isn’t super awesome for your skin – the only skin you get. What if you slip and cut off your nose? I noticed that he’s bald, but not wearing a hat in his picture. This puts him at an increased risk for melanoma, just by leaving the house. And with the amount that this guy tweets, he is definitely ruining his eyes by staring at his phone or computer constantly. Are YOU a moron, Jorge? I’m asking you because I already have made my judgment. Moral of the heels being bad for your health story: Wearing high heels is no more dangerous to your health than wearing shoes from Payless. Am I right or am I right? Again, question already answered.
Love it. Beautiful. Classy. 
            Are they appropriate for the workplace? Yes! They won’t work with every outfit, but some. Short skirts and jeans with high heels are among the outfits sure to raise eyebrows, for the wrong reason. Short skirts and jeans are not business appropriate PERIOD. I wear jeans to work, but I work in a construction shop. What I don’t wear to work is a stiletto. A little common sense goes a long way. If you’re going to wear a tall shoe, you need to cover the heel with a nice trouser. If the break of the pant hits at the right spot on the front of the shoe, and you’re not showing much more than a half-inch of the heel, there is nothing offensive about that at all. The shoe serves a very different purpose as a work shoe than a party shoe. If it’s a party shoe, a heel will show off those lovely legs of yours. If it’s a work shoe, the goal is height – not attracting horn-dogs. If you can’t walk in them without looking like a clown leave them at home, DAY AND NIGHT. Golf ball-sized bruises from falling on your ass are not attractive or intelligent.
Cute, but no. Sorry. Cute and "business
approprite" usually don't mean the same.
            Business appropriate skirts should come to the knee or below. Skirts higher than the knee are trashy in an office, ESPECIALLY when bare legged. This is WORK, not THE CLUB. I worked with a girl who would hike up her uniform skirt by rolling it up at the top and would then don her 4-inch stilettos. On a good day, she looked like a high-class-ho. Another no, no is low-cut shirts. Please keep your boobs in your shirt from 9-5. And, tight tops? No. NO! STOP IT! It’s not because you don’t look good in those things; it’s because you want to be taken seriously. That requires decorum. I know it’s not fair that you should have to edit your outfit because your creepy boss can’t keep his eyes out of your chest, but this is the real world. Basically, if your male coworkers are in suits, you should follow suit. They’re not going to be intimidated or have respect for someone they want to take home and fantasize about putting in front of their stove or washing machine. At least, not the type who looks at a woman’s shoe choice and then decides she has no brain. Had they been the wrong size, he may have had a bone to pick, but, Sir, those shoes fit. There is no gap between heel and shoe. Maybe some day we’ll figure out this whole gender equality thing, but we still have a long way to go. 

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