Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I'm Not Mean, I Just Don't Like You.

Yes, I think this IS what I look like at 6:30AM, at work,
shitty coffee in hand, until AT LEAST 9AM. 

            I am nothing if not honest to a fault. I don’t see the point in lying about anything, and find it less than enjoyable when people attempt to lie to me. I feel like being overly friendly with people I do not like is lying. Granted, there are very few people who fall into this category (it's hard to get into, but once you do there's no going back), but a couple come to mind. I noticed today that it’s not just that I don’t want to expend my niceness on such louts, but I find it almost reflexive that I flip the snarky bitch switch. The thing that I couldn’t decide today was if this is a bad quality, or if it is actually wise and expedient.
            Some notches in the “pro” column are that there is no confusion about whether there is a friendship ensuring the offensive person will stay out of your way, it is a good way to target any aggression from your day without taking it out on people you actually like, and it reminds me (in case I’ve forgotten) that I really am a female New Englander. Never met one? Lucky you! We're tough as nails and come in about three options, give or take some aberrations - snotty rich girl, violent sports fan, and middle class ice queen. Some cons might be that occasionally bystanders are frightened and that it becomes a certainty that none of the offenders will ever go out of their way to help you. If you really think about it though, you don’t want their help anyway. They bug the crap out of you. Either you would end up owing them or they would mess up whatever you were doing. Lose, lose. 
            Obviously, this was spawned by an encounter with a human nuisance. I’m sure most of you work with at least one person who irritates the flies off your rotten fruit. My problem is with someone who I unaffactionately refer to as Muckles McGillaMuppet. Or Muppet for short. Or occasionally just Chuckles. You might recognize him as douchey-from-at-least-4-feet-away if you’ve been reading for a long time. I would just find him annoying if it weren’t for the fact that he lies, is incompetent, and regularly makes my job difficult by doing his incorrectly. He also does not understand how to use computer filing practices. Creating a bunch of empty file folders is not helpful to anyone. Also, “zipping” one file does nothing. Who does that? Chuckles.
            So, should I feel guilty about being less than pleasant? I don’t… Lie to me about anything and I feel that I owe you nothing. I’m still a nice person! Really! Homeless people hug me! I’m also an introvert. I saw on Buzzfeed this week that as such, people mistake my thoughtful looks for “resting bitch face.” Maybe I can just use that line to wrap it all up and call it a day. “I’m not mean, I just look like a bitch. I grew up in Massachusetts, give me a break.”           

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