Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Pass Me Some Greens, Hold The Soylent


           
This is the equivalent of having a G-tube
feeding through your mouth.
Gross.
Would you eat anything bearing any resemblance to “Soylent Green?” Perhaps the majority of people are now too young to know what that is. I haven’t ever seen the movie, but I am still aware that “soylent green” refers to a food made of human flesh. It’s a pretty gross connotation. Thus naming a new food product “Soylent?” I would say that’s beyond ludicrous.
         Even more beyond ludicrous is the premise for this product. According to The Economist online this yummy oh-so-enticing-non-human, but named for recycled human food when mixed with water “becomes a unflavoured beige liquid.” Wow, you’re selling me already. “Soylent is a complete food replacement for those disinclined or too busy to cook, but lacking the wherewithal to eat out.”
         Hold on…. Who are these people? Is this a boring liquid food substitute for depressed people? The only time in my life I can recall ever being disinclined to eat was when I was really depressed. Don’t most people want to eat? You’re SO busy you can’t eat an apple? Or a power bar? Or a Snickers? You’d rather have a tasteless beige liquid? I mean, Pedialyte sounds better than that. Hell, I think I’d rather drink Ensure.
         Supposedly, it will also cost you $65 a week. That’s pretty expensive flavorless food. On their website they reference all the waste created from eating and that many people die each year from the smoke inhaled from indoor cooking stoves. I find it hard to believe that a sort of expensive tasteless drink is going to fix these problems. NOR DO I WANT IT TO. Okay, maybe I don’t want people to die of smoke inhalation. And I don’t want people to waste food. I do, however, want to eat food. I want to eat food that tastes like food. And if that means there’s going to be trash associated with it, well then tough. If I have to throw out some plastic so that I can eat a Ritter Sport chocolate bar with hazelnuts, I’m throwing out the plastic. 




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