Friday, January 4, 2013

It's Fashion Friday!: The Doldrums

           I’m so bored with all the fashion emails I’ve been getting. Colorblock. Distressed denim. Suiting. Pastels. Isn’t anyone doing anything new? I guess everything has been done before. There is no such thing as new. Perhaps there could be a mutual agreement to strive for good-looking, at the very least.

Things I wish would go away:

This DOESN'T look good. Wear a skirt or
a longer pant with a wider leg, but this
doesn't work. Sorry. Truth hurts.
1. This notion that you can just stick a 5-inch heel on a shoe and call it a day. I’m not a hooker and I don’t want to look like one. There are so many ugly shoes out there these days I can go into a DSW and not even be compelled to try a single thing on.

2. Ladies wearing wedge shoes with skinny pants. It’s not balanced.

3. Girls who aren’t old enough to have had a job carrying handbags that cost more than my week’s pay. Teach your child the value of a dollar. Stop raising entitled brats.

4. Thongs sticking out of anything. I don’t want to know what kind of underwear you have on unless your pants were so ugly I ripped them off. Even then, it would have just been an unfortunate consequence.

5. Midriff. Really? First of all, it’s winter. Second, really?

I don't know where this picture originated from, but
it's all over the internet. A bird could nest in that thing.
6. Men’s drawers. Pull your damned pants up. Buy a belt. Get some suspenders. Use duct tape. They may look nicer than that thong, but I still don’t want to see ‘em sticking out of your pants.

7. SOCK BUNS! Socks go on your feet, not on your head. Stop this hipster hair crap. If you want a chignon in your hair, learn how to do it the right way – with hair pins.
JACK ROGERS.... What is up with the circles and the weird

8. Jack Rogers sandals. They’re just ugly.

9. Writing on the Butt pants, unless you’re going to tell me something witty.

10. JUSTIN BIEBER. He’s not fashionable, or a fashion item, but I sure can keep hoping he'll disappear.

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