It’s Canadian Thanksgiving! (Well, yesterday was). You know what that means. It’s
time to take a moment and give thanks for Canadians. I don’t know if you’re lucky enough to have
Canadians active in your life. I feel blessed to be able to say that three of
my closest friends are from that other country that shares the North American
continent. I believe that my Canadians (as I lovingly refer to them in my head)
are aware of the superiority of their citizenry to ours (American), but they
never point it out because that’s just how great Canadians are.
Of the
friends to whom I refer, one of them once electrocuted himself helping me
charge my cell phone in his European apartment (to which I showed up to stay
for a week with only one day’s notice). I also once watched him hammer a hole
in a window because he was hot. Another is so fiercely loyal that she can and
will hate on command. She and her dashing fiancée took me out for quite an
extravagant birthday feast this year. We went for dessert in the North End (Boston) after doing our part to help with the lobster crowding issues in the Atlantic and were forced at gunpoint by mobsters to drink grappa with our tiramisu and
ice cream. Maybe the gun part is an exaggeration, but the rest of it is mostly
true. And, it wasn’t good grappa. It was more like lighter fluid. And the third
friend, a Danish Heidi Klum doppelgänger, has been acting as my personal
cheerleader in multiple avenues of life for longer than I can even remember,
while also winning the prize for being the best long distance friend of all time.
We punished our hamstrings together for an entire week this summer at an
Ashtanga yoga intensive, and then rewarded ourselves with large quantities of
ethnic food, including Ethiopian. It takes a special kind of friendship to
survive 40 hours of sweating bullets combined with eating food with
your hands. Aside from their individual strong points, it goes without saying
that all three of these gems are brilliant, funny, kind, and incredibly
attractive (they are my friends,
after all).
If you know
my friends, you already know how great they are. If you don’t know them, I’m
really sorry, but I can’t tell you who they are. In general, I’m a pretty
generous person, but when it comes to them, I’m not really interested in
sharing. I can, however, offer several other reasons why Canadians are
fantastic.
1.They know
more about American history.
2. They have a keener understanding
of what’s going on in our country politically at this moment. Didn’t see the
debates? Don’t read the newspaper – ask a Canadian!
3. They build American cars. (Oh,
you thought your bailout dollars were building Chevrolets in the US? HA)
4. They have much higher standards
for the quality of their beef.
5. Ryan Gosling.
6. They started the NHL and supply
most of its players (can we get a move on those contract negotiations
please????).
7. Lululemon.
8. The Rideau Canal Skateway in
Ottawa (world’s largest skating rink) – you can actually ice skate to work.
9. Sorel boots – I just got
waterproof winter boots. My Uggs leak water up through the bottom. Screw that.
Bring on the snow.
10. The only Cold War they’re still
fighting is the one with the thermostat (they’re not forbidden to travel to
Cuba).
In the spirit of good will we shall
forgive them Justin Bieber, Nickelback, and Celine Dion. I think those things
are evened out by the Canadian shows on HGTV, Degrassi, and Neil Young. The
more I think about it, the more I realize how much shit pop music comes out of
Canada…their pop stars are terrible, really. Hug a Canadian today.
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